في الشوق للدوحة الآن أشتاق لأخي والمشاوير الطويلة..
والمرور رغم الحر بتي تايم… والكرك والمحلبية في الصيف الطويل …
I miss the endlessness of the moment.. I miss the taste of the sweetness of the cold and warm mixing together and I miss the causal encounter of friends passing by…
I miss knowing that by the end of it we shall be home..
Our hectic home where the growing Youssef awaits his share and mama’s endless questions about everything that I much enjoy..
I miss his stubbornness about fast food when mama cooks… our mutual respect to a warm home cooked meal and have I know such a meal would be so far from reach; I would have never had fast food on the way home!
Home is now far from reach… and might be as such forever..
Missing Doha, knowingly, that there is not much chance to go back… maybe ever again!
I have had my adventure in marriage and flew away, but never did I think that home may no longer be there…
My heart aches as the pictures continue to rush infront of my teary eyes…
Mum kept the reception aligned as it was the day I got engaged… the small sofa by the window with curtains… I shall never forget how young I felt at that day and every time we talk.. if I see the window… I feel the same.
Now, I shall never be able to say goodbye to that moment… never will I farewell my favorite window on earth….
We lived at the edge of long desert horizon.. nothing appeared from the windows but sands and skies… yet never has a day passed without birds singing on our windows…. I always believed it was mother’s green hands that made our place alive!
I left Egypt when 14, known I would never go back at 19.. but I never loved Doha much!
I loved QU, my warm safe heaven and I loved home, my family, my room… but not Doha..
Not until I shared my 1st moments with Khaled within, and had my no destination long drives within… met all its shores in a few days and grew memories on every pavement….
Then I realized we as a family grew so much at the time… nothing we though would end so we never framed, we missed lots of pictures because we believed it’s durable… now we don’t know when, where and how shall we meet again!
I was not able to visit since I gave birth and was hoping to visit some time next month or next September… the hope has vanished!
For some reason… life makes its points seasonally… and next September: life won’t be as I knew it…. and this hurts.. a lot
